A Day Of Doubt

Listen to "A Day Of Doubt" on Spreaker. We all have triggers. Those little moments when a great day suddenly spins around. Sometimes we know of what triggers us. Other moments are overtaken by extremely powerful invisible warriors from a Marvel comic book. Triggers. In those moments we don't feel fear, shame or guilt. It's doubt. A giant feeling of something that almost never comes with answers and the reason why is because we haven't figured out what the questions are. Doubt. An entire day of it. It poisons your decisions and dreams. It floods your system of thinking and performing. You can't call in sick because your boss is having their own day of doubt and someone needs to be cut off the list. Doubt. You can't swallow it and push ahead because every step feels like a new trigger. My weakness is a clock. Hate them. Three hours early is six hours too late. That creates doubt. I arrive in this studio at 5:30 everyday because it buys me time. It allows everybody else's expectations to be met on time and or before. If doubt seeps into the picture it infects every other mood waiting to be placed on the public billboard. There are no meds for a day of doubt. You have to somehow create a relationship with its presence and do all you can to listen. I write. I meditate. I sit alone in a room with no song, no television, no picture hanging on the wall. I patiently and lovingly allow the doubt to move through me. All things pass even while you are weighed down by doubt. If your choice is to fight it. It will always win because it's best friends with hate, emptiness, anger and lack of faith. Write, meditate or stare at an empty wall. It will bring peace to your day of doubt.